emotions are unreasonable
imagine losing someone for years
hoping to see each other again one day
holding on only to faith
because of love
hope is there because of faith
faith is there because of love
… and love is something i can’t control
i woke up one day realizing
this (life) was scripted.
ooo
i can still remember your face
as you were walking towards me
but those were the days
we were careless and free
but ever since i’ve fallen for you
it’s been a curse i can’t fight
i just can’t deny that it’s true
even if i know it just isn’t right
for me to just stand here
and do nothing with this pain
no one will notice no one will hear
i just wish it would rain.
it came upon me. i realized why.
i heard jay once say, "determination is not enough". it was gon who said that. then kai mentioned or rather asked, "ganun ba talaga ka-big-deal yun?" i didn’t quite get who she was referring to. but it opened my eyes. a little bit more. was it a big thing for me? would it be a big deal for her? from then on i saw my weakness. i hate to admit it. i am weak.
ooo
learn to live and let go. live life. know your limits.
ooo
emotions were never this hard to control before. love was never this difficult as far as i could recall. you are my objective, there’s no sense in not trying.
ooo
tell me. was it a wrong decision i made…
is there no cure to this pain?
deep within is this answer:
set your heart on things above.
could i help it?
is it not true?
just a little bit more…
i won’t make it.
no one makes it on his own.
there is no need to worry.
there are far more greater concerns.
far far (more) greater.
always.
your chains mean nothing.
your pain means nothing.
it hurts because that is all you know [resist]
but you should know more than that.
the word is–vanity.
just finish what you could accomplish.
use all of your talents.
ooo
will you listen to me even just for one moment
even if my mouth’s closed just hear my cry
it’s not too often someone’s here with me
if only you could understand at least appear to be
because no one understands what i’m feeling
not even myself. i just want your presence
even if you’re somewhere else. will you listen
my silence says it all. i’ve got nothing more to say.
ooo
she spoke (beautiful is not the term i was looking for) she spoke truthfully (nothing is more beautiful than the truth). she wrote so candidly. and for her, my gratitude for my existence as a journalist. this is inspired by you, jik.
ooo
do away with motives for the time being, they make matters look so complicated. what is written is to be read as an expression of what lies within. grafitti. allow me. remain true.
proceed no further. subject to hurt. it’s not the primary reason. you would gladly sacrifice. when faced with conflict, don’t violate the rules. violators will be punished. executed. remain true.
ooo
object of my affection
keeps me in suspended animation
you are my inspiration
but i can’t move on.
ooo
no one will hear. no one will know. except one day. the night i dreamt of you. once more. just when i thought i’ve given up. you remain so dear to me. was i thinking out loud, when i called out your name the moment you appeared before my eyes. maybe it was all in wishful thinking i thought i heard you say my name. but i can’t act. i can’t explain. how i wish all nights were the same. thinking of you was good while it all lasted. at least i saw you once more and felt this feeling again.
ooo
i’m trying my best to forget you. somehow a part of me hopes that i won’t. my heart and my mind keeps on clashing not knowing when will this end. although i’m already numb from the pain, just the thought keeps on haunting, playing over and over again. one day, all i’m waiting for is that day, soon it will be over. but for now…
ooo
fading embers of a dark blue night
stars that shine are the only light
who will guide our way but the distant hope
the remaining fragments of our distant hope
the memory of you.
ooo
solitude offers no comfort anymore.
it’s not that i embraced solitude
but that solitude embraced me
not that loneliness understood me
but i understood loneliness.
i was alone, but i never felt loneliness.
ooo
solitude is a maddening state of which
only a few have a high tolerance for.
patience is a gamble but highly rewarding.
ooo
i will just wait here.
under the rain.
in darkness.
in silence.
eyes shut.
mouth shut.
left to my own.