i was hoping to have a chance to be alone with her. the idea i had was a chance at the elevator. every time i entered the elevator i found myself expecting her to enter, just the two of us, together. wala lang*. and i thought to myself what could i possibly say if that moment came? it took a while, i came up with "so hanggang kelan na lang kayo dito?"… followed by "mamimiss kita." afterwards i could not think of anything else to say.
and it happened. i was on the tenth floor, medical tower. i was on my way down when she just arrived. she happened to pass by on her way to MSD office. then i took it as an opportunity. although both elevators were already near my floor, i took my time to wait for her to return. i thought to myself, she must have had an errand and wouldn’t take that much time. i was right. when she came back i was there waiting for the elevator. again. and so i had the time to talk with her for that moment we waited for the doors to open, i had that time to be with her alone as we went down. i had the moment to tell her "hanggang kelan na lang kayo dito?", but i never had the courage to tell her "mamimiss kita."
torpe. ewan. one thing i noticed, or maybe believed i saw, while we were waiting for the doors she stood by me. and for that moment i saw her blush, i could still remember her smile. somehow i was stopping myself from saying the things i wanted to say. because i saw no end to the matter. where would it lead me? was it right to express myself, or was it right to restrain myself? but it was a done deed. i walked beside her up to the lobby where we had to part ways, i felt as if we never wanted to part ways. somehow i was smiling. what i found striking was there was this orderly that commented out of the blue " nakangiti kyo doc lagi" at the time i just parted with her. was it that noticeable?
and the moment was gone. i always make it a point to myself to leave no regrets. and regrets i have none. in due time we shall reap if we faint not.
i will always remember it as a day the moon was full. a blue moon night.