it's the last day of september. once again. i remember my sister. she knew me more than anyone else. somehow she always figured out what was on my mind. now that she's gone, no one else can read my mind.
it's not really the sadness of missing her. i'm happy for her knowing where she is right now. it is the feeling of being left alone.
i wasn't there for her the day that she died. i was supposed to go and see her earlier. but after my class that afternoon i took the time and went to a computer shop with a friend. there was no use escaping. i could not even remember the bus trip.
when i arrived she was already dead. until now, i refuse to admit i was too late. i really did not wish to see her dying. i did not even know she was going to die that day. sometimes people won't understand if i did not feel like saying goodbye to her.
i miss her so much. she knew how much i loved her even if i did not show up for her final moments. although it would have been nice if i were there, i know she was thinking of someone else at that time.
we think the same way. see you later, sis! it was more of a sigh of relief on her part. good for her. it really wasn't a sad ending for her. it was a lonely time for me. my younger twin, jam.
i remember once, we were laughing hard at each other's face. we were staring at each other's up-side-down face as we were lying down. we simply understood each other, even if we did not talk much. another time, we made a prank call to one of my crushes. haha! nice jam!
when she was in pain, there was nothing i could do. sometimes, there's nothing much you could really do. and so i have learned to accept a lot of things for what they are. i miss you, but i'm also happy for you!