you loved her, and yet you said nothing. and she never might have really known.
you knew, this is how it’s going to end. from the beginning.
just as you thought it would end. nothing happening.
you are so caught up in that prison of yours you call your home.
comfortable as it seems, you are a prisoner nonetheless. the funny thing is, you never thought of it as a prison. which is actually true.
you were never one to be imprisoned by your emotions and by the stereotypical actions. you were always unpredictable at most.
just as you predicted, you saw her one last time. a glimpse. you smiled at her, she smiled back. and you knew, maybe, that was the last time you would see her. or for the longest time. ah, that small glimpse of
hopeless hope, a dying ember actually. and you know it. yes, it has been imprinted.
and it does not surprise you, that evening, the half-moon shone. that is how your story went. just as you predicted.
and you keep on telling yourself, what a predictable story, what a predictable ending. if it is the end. you wouldn’t admit it is the end.
the end for that matter. ah, the coincidences.
it is an endless cycle. this is not the first time that happened. that is why it does not hurt as much. this time, there were four in the list. even if only the first mattered, seeing the other three somehow lightened up your
day. somehow. but it wouldnt be the same, would it. you know how it all comes to pass.
maybe, that’s why you have mastered the art of concealment. that’s why nobody knows what truly is in that head of yours. much less that heart of yours. and that’s why you have this prevailing theory that it is this why others get curious of your not-so-common personality.
during these times, you are faced up against a wall. it’s nothing really. a wall made up of nothing. just a wall. you feel like you are going nowhere. and somehow, you have learned to accept it. or maybe, just wait. or maybe, with the least worry. you are not going anywhere after all. you just can’t make the hands of time move any faster.
during these times, you tried to seek your own small space in the virtual world of onemanga. week after week, you waited for naruto, bleach, one piece, hunter x hunter. it took you an hour or two, less if the server was fast. it was your small piece of heaven. but it was not enough. it was not enough. you could relate, but not enough. adding law of ueki, claymore, and the latest, school rumble, still was not enough. sigh.
it’s like this. i was not happy. nobody understands, nobody cares. i mean, in that sort of way, the way that they could be of help. yeah, people really do care you know. in other words, no can be of much help. but it is not what bothers me. and so, i tried to come up with something self-satisfying.
something to amuse myself with. that is where manga fit in. and after you’ve read the more interesting ones, you still felt empty. that is why school rumble came in to the picture.
you’re currently stuck with school rumble, because the usual dose of shonen jump manga this week will not be available, the golden week or something. sigh. it’s because you haven’t reached reading up to the 250+ chapter. but you got bored reading the same thing, again and again. nothing really happens between harima and tenma. nothing really happens to anyone of them.
school rumble was hilarious at first. yes, the first 50 chapters. yes, even the next 50. maybe even the succeeding chapter. but it is too tiring.
nothing happens to their love lives. it kind of reminds me of reality.
nothing really happens. so i tried to peek at the most recent chapters.
so, i found out, nothing has really changed. harima still has yet to reveal his true feelings to tenma. tenma is still too thick headed.
sawachika and yakumo, still the same thing. so what, if tenma went to a far off place? and harima went back to his old self? i’ve already read that before. but it was funny once. i never had that fun for a long while.
reality check. life somehow is like that. some people go away. you miss them. you forget them. then someone comes, to repeat the whole cycle.
that does not mean i would stop reading manga. not at this time. while i still have nothing better to do.
yes, i will miss you. maybe, i will see you again. maybe not. i don’t even know why you crossed my life. maybe, i am part of someone else’s manga.
funny. very funny.
*in order to relate, you must at least have an idea of the manga, school rumble.
–> http://www.onemanga.com/school_rumble/