i'm almost empty. i feel a little better now. i've gotten used to this solitude. not that i'm stronger, but i no longer feel pain. i feel numb, which is a good thing in one sense. it's like anesthesia.
so i'm back to square one, back to where i was 2 years ago, back to this same old bed, this same old room, same solitude. it feels nostalgic. nothing changed, except this feeling that i no longer belong here. why am i here? there is no one here. no one worth returning to. which reminds me, the other girl i have learned to forget. let's leave it forgotten.
this evening i strolled around the mall, curious how things have changed. i ended up still feeling empty. nothing new under the sun, nothing worth to look forward to, nothing worth searching. all i could wish for was some manga for the week. after which, there was nothing more to anticipate. i'm waiting for the 29th to see what will happen, although, being the pessimistic (realistic) me, i know nothing will happen. that's what happens when you overthink life.
why am i even writing this?
oh, i wonder how the simple girl is. i don't even know who she is. so i'm left wondering. just a thought. sometimes we try to make sense of something we don't know because the things we know don't make sense.
okay, i'll make some short term goals. tomorrow i hope i would meet gelay. i can't even remember her name right. ah. what a simpleton i am. by saturday i plan to visit molino. hopefully the weather wouldn't stop me.
blabbering idiot. i'm talking to myself. this is what boredom is.